


Just This Night

by Loth-Cat (Starbird)



Series: Just This Night [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: (Very very light), Awkward Conversations, Bedsharing, Denial of Feelings, Ezra is Nervous AF, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Torture, Light Angst, Missions Gone Wrong, Non-Explicit Sexual Content, Sabezra - Freeform, Sabezra-centric, Sabine Has a Much Softer Side, Set Early in S4, Yavin 4, Young Love, Zeb Half-Ships It Half-Hates It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-10-18 08:01:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/pseuds/Loth-Cat
Summary: While on a mission to rescue imprisoned slaves, Ezra and Sabine are captured by the admiral in charge. TheGhostcrew has no choice but to leave them behind and regroup to figure out how to get them back. Having given some information away after being drugged with Bavo Six, the usually tough Mandalorian struggles to come to terms with what happened.





	1. Capture

The Spectres were, as usual, cutting it close.

“Ready for a pickup,” Ezra said into his comm as he, Sabine, Kanan, and Zeb ran through the Imperial prison to their insertion point, stormtroopers hot on their heels. Chopper squealed as a blaster bolt got too close to his chassis, and he put on an extra burst of speed, fire burning bright behind him. They’d successfully infiltrated and freed a dozen imprisoned slaves, all fleeing for their lives now and dodging the red bolts.

“I copy, Spectre Six,” Hera’s voice came back right away. “I’ll be there in a minute with the corvette.”

“May not have a minute if they scramble those TIEs,” Kanan said.

“Then you’d better hope they don’t.”

Ezra slashed at a blast door with his lightsaber, glowing green blade slicing through the control and triggering the ponderous door to close. In front of him at the next door, Sabine tapped at the controls and shook her head in frustration.

“I can’t get it,” she said. “The prison went on lockdown after we freed the slaves. Chopper!”

“But they don’t know where we are, right?” Ezra asked as the slaves around them waited nervously. Chopper blatted at him. “Sure I think we’re safe,” he replied crossly. “No harm double-checking.”

“Would you two cut it out?” Zeb snapped.

“Running out of time…” Kanan reminded them.

“Not helping!” Sabine retorted. She pressed a button to finalize the code she’d entered, and it glowed red. Another set of doors began to slide down from the ceiling, blocking off their exit.

“Old-fashioned way it is,” Kanan said as he plunged his lightsaber into the metal. He’d almost gotten a sizeable hole cut out of it when the blast door behind them began to creak open.

“I think they’ve found us,” Ezra remarked, twirling his wrist and bringing his other hand up to grip his saber.

“What was your first clue?” Zeb asked as he swung his weapon toward the door, inching open bit by bit.

 _“Kanan?!”_ Hera’s voice came from his comm. “What’s going on down there?”

“Ah…bit of a complication!” he answered. He shoved the metal disk of the door through and onto the floor on the opposite side. Chopper, meanwhile, had finally gotten into the mainframe and was hopefully navigating into the security systems.

“And here are our troublesome rebels,” said Admiral Cassell as she stepped through the crack in the blast door, six stormtroopers fanned out behind her. This was her prison, and she smiled to see her prey before her. “You’re done here. Now be good and come with me.”

“Ha!” Zeb laughed. “Like that’s going to happen.”

Cassell made a show of glancing over the assembled prisoners. “Much as I expected. So…which prisoner shall we kill first?” She pulled out her regulation pistol and pointed it at the head of the nearest sentient, an Ithorian male who jumped in fear. “It’s your decision. Surrender yourselves, or I start shooting them.”

“Got it!” Sabine cried triumphantly. The blast door leading to the loading dock opened, and she and Kanan darted through, calling to the prisoners to run. But Cassell and her troopers started firing immediately. Chopper let out a burst of static and lit his thrusters again, while Zeb returned fire and Ezra batted away the red blaster bolts with his lightsaber.

“Go on!” he yelled at the prisoners. “Get going!”

The area was small, a real danger for ricocheting bolts in such close quarters. Ezra advanced on the admiral and the troopers, pushing them back further into the prison as he covered everyone’s escape. He couldn’t let the prisoners be recaptured. He had to protect them.

His parents had lost their lives doing that.

Just when he thought all was going to be fine, the stormtroopers dead and Cassell the only one standing, the door to the loading dock snapped shut again. Four of the prisoners were still caught with Ezra and Cassell. She smiled victoriously and re-holstered her pistol.

“So,” she said. “We have a situation here where you can only lose. Unless you surrender to me.”

Ezra gritted his teeth. “And then what? You’ll let the prisoners go? I don’t think so.”

She inclined her head, a show of trustworthiness. “I would. And you, I will take to Grand Admiral Thrawn.”

Ezra considered it for a split-second. “Fine,” he said. “But they go first, and I don’t go with you until they’re safe.”

“Of course.”

“Unlock the blast door.”

Cassell nodded again and took her datapad from her belt to tap a few buttons. Behind him, Ezra heard the door to the dock opening.

“You’d better go,” she said with a smile to the prisoners. “Before I change my mind.”

The terrified slaves sprinted out through the hole Kanan had cut in the extra door and disappeared through the blast door, at which point Sabine’s voice came through on Ezra’s comm.

“Ezra? What is going on over there?”

“It’s fine,” he replied. “Cassell is letting the prisoners go and taking me instead.”

“What?!” Kanan said. “No – ”

“Get going! Spectre Six out.”

But just as he was turning back to Cassell to offer his surrender, Sabine jumped through the hole in the secondary door, guns drawn.

“Sorry, Admiral,” she said. “We don’t leave our own like the Empire does.”

“I’ll gladly take two of your rank,” Cassell said, and pressed another button on her datapad, lips curled up again. “I have a squad of stormtroopers on their way here, so you had better not do anything foolish.”

“Only a squad?” Sabine quipped. “We’ve faced worse.”

Ezra closed down his lightsaber and held his hand out to the Mandalorian. “Sabine. I gave her my word.”

“To an Imperial who imprisons _slaves_ ,” she hissed, and Cassell pulled out her pistol to point it at her.

“Stand down, girl,” she said in a low voice, just as ten stormtroopers marched through the blast door behind her. But Sabine didn’t, firing off shots at the newcomers as soon as they walked in. Suddenly bolts were flying in the small space again, and this time, there were too many for Ezra to fend off. He saw blue rings coming toward him, and then it went dark.


	2. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine and Ezra are interrogated by Cassell. Kanan tells Hera his plan for rescuing them. Sabine shuts Ezra out.

“You _left_ them there?!”

Hera, unsurprisingly, was furious. Kanan could feel her anger rippling through the Force, and he held his hands up as the _Ghost_ pulled for open space.

“Ezra knows what he’s doing,” he said. “We’ll go back for them.”

He sensed her throwing him a glance, and he didn’t have to see her to know exactly what it looked like. He remembered. A pang hit him, wishing he could see the flat frown on her face, the disapproval in her eyes.

It used to make him wince. Now, it would make him smile to see it again.

Kanan leaned forward and touched her shoulder lightly. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get them back.”

She relaxed just a little under his touch. “Cassell isn’t known for her kindness. What’s your plan?”

Chopper cut in, spitting out electronic garble. Kanan swiveled the copilot’s seat toward him.

“Yes, I _do_ plan to involve you,” Kanan replied. The little droid blatted back, and Kanan rolled his eyes behind his mask. “Yeah, it wasn’t one of Ezra’s _brighter_ ideas, but – ” Chopper interrupted, pincers waving madly. Kanan crossed his arms and leaned back in the seat. “Not _all_ his ideas are bad, Chop. Just most of them.”

Chopper continued, but Kanan just shook his head and swiveled back to Hera. “He wanted to get the prisoners out,” he said. “Like – ”

“Like his parents,” she said. “I know.”

“We’ll get Rex here and get the stormtrooper uniforms on. Then we’ll get them back.”

This time, the look he sensed from Hera was full of concern. “I just hope we get to them in time.”

She didn’t have to say more. Cassell’s cruelty was legendary, and she would not go easy on two well-known members of the Alliance.

Kanan’s hands gripped the armrests. “Make the call. Get Rex here _now_.”

\---

Ezra twisted his hands in a futile attempt to find a weakness in his binders – and take his mind off Sabine. He’d been sitting in the cell for hours now, alone, trying not to think about what Cassell and her troopers would be doing with her. He’d awoken in the cell with her after being stunned by the loading dock, but they’d barely had time to exchange a few quick words before Cassell came in and took Sabine away.

_They’re not hurting her._

_They’re just keeping us apart so we don’t attack because we’re stronger together._

_We’ll get out of this._

_The crew will come back._

His thoughts tumbled together, and he took a deep breath and focused his mind, using one of the Jedi calming exercises Kanan had taught him years ago when they’d first started training.

_Calm your mind. Push everything else away. There is nothing else besides this moment._

His master would be disappointed in him now.

_The living Force is all around you, Ezra. It’s…what are you doing?_

He wished he had listened better. He wished he’d been a better student then.

_Beating yourself up over every little thing won’t help._

Ezra took another deep breath and closed his eyes, bringing his clasped hands to his forehead.

_Breathe. Focus._

The door swished open, and his head jerked up. Two stormtroopers dragged in a drowsy Sabine. Ezra shot to his feet. He could tell right away that they’d drugged her, probably with the truth serum Bavo Six. Immediately he felt a bolt of fear. Had she given anything away?

Cassell followed the troopers, who dumped Sabine right on the floor, where she collapsed and did not move. Immediately Ezra felt swift anger sweep through him, and he fought to tamp it down as his fists clenched.

“Was _this_ part of the deal, Admiral?” he asked. She just motioned with her hand.

“Come with me,” she said. The troopers grabbed him and hustled him out. His last view of Sabine before the door slammed shut was of her blinking dazed eyes open, watching as they hauled him away.

\---

Pushing the pain of the Bavo Six injection away was the easy part; dealing with the effects of the serum caused a sweat to break out on Ezra’s forehead, his body to shake, his breaths to come short and shallow.

“Maybe this isn’t the best way to go about this,” Cassell mused, her voice distant and distorted through the haze of the drug.

“I can offer an opinion,” Ezra said, and he wished he sounded stronger than that. His eyes squeezed shut, and his teeth gritted together.

“Your comrade was much more forthcoming. She offered a few locations to us, some names… Very helpful.”

“She was lying.”

Cassell chuckled. “I don’t believe she was. She was most helpful.”

Ezra turned his face away from her, even though his eyes were closed. Her presence in the Force was strong, a dark blot on the fabric of it, and he just wanted to be away from it.

“It’s sad,” Cassell continued, mock compassionate. “Her past, her present… What happened with her family, her departure from her service to the Empire… And so _touching_ , how she considers all of _you_ to be her family. Your crew, your ship. Even the little droid. She would die for any of you. For Kanan, her adoptive father, and Hera, her adoptive mother…” Here she paused, and Ezra had a sickening feeling in his stomach about what she was about to say next. “She had some interesting things to say about you as well.” He opened his eyes and looked back at her, staring into her eyes.

Then she motioned to the troopers.

“Take him back to his cell. Grand Admiral Thrawn is expecting him tomorrow morning. We leave tonight.”

 

When the troopers returned Ezra to his cell, dropping him on the ground much the same as they had Sabine, she had recovered from the drug.

“I couldn’t help it,” she blurted as soon as the door shut behind the troopers. “I tried to fight the drug, but…” Here she hung her head, shame coloring her usually bright presence in the Force. “I couldn’t.”

Ezra, flat on his back and breathing heavily from the interrogation, rolled over toward her. He needed to run through a cleansing exercise, try to get the drug broken up and dispersed in his system, but right now…Sabine needed him more.

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “They used Bavo Six.”

“I know what they used,” she snapped, knees pulled up and arms folded across them.

“You didn’t tell them anything they didn’t already know.”

“Ezra…” she said quietly. “Stop it.”

He was lying, and they both knew it.

Looking down at his bound wrists, feeling helpless, he said, “Kanan and the others will be back soon. Before Cassell sends us to Thrawn.”

But Sabine just shook her head at him and turned away to lie down, putting her back to him. It was the first time she’d ever shut him out completely, and that hurt far more than the injection, far more than fighting a drug that wanted to rip every secret from his brain. So he did the only thing he could do, which was to focus on getting the drug out of his system as fast as possible, so he could think clearly and find a way to get them out of there.


	3. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Sabine are rescued and deal with the aftermath aboard the _Ghost_.

It was the middle of the afternoon when their rescue came. Ezra could hear blaster bolts, stormtrooper shouts, and Kanan’s lightsaber through the walls of the cell. The metal door shot up, and two troopers ran in.

“Let’s get out of here quick,” Kanan said as he sliced through Ezra’s binders. “This one’s close.”

“It’s always close!” Ezra replied, taking his lightsaber back. He’d ask later where Kanan had gotten it. Rex, meanwhile, had his blaster pointed down the hall outside the door.

“Time’s up,” Rex said. Kanan separated Sabine’s binders and pulled her blasters out of his belt. She grabbed them and joined Rex. “Company,” Rex added tersely.

“That’s our cue,” Kanan said. “You ready, kid?”

“Always,” Ezra said. “The sooner this dustball’s behind me, the better.”

Chopper waited for them, hooked up to a link in the wall. He squawked and waved at them.

“Cassell’s on her way,” Kanan translated. “Let’s go.”

Ezra and Sabine followed him, Rex, and Chopper through the prison. The Spectres had infiltrated at a different point, but just like before, Cassell and her troopers cut them off. Only this time, the doors opened to the rebels. The _Ghost_ hovered above the ground, ramp down and waiting.

Everyone made for it except for Ezra, who turned to face Cassell with both hands on his saber.

“Ezra, let’s _go_!” Kanan yelled. “Let it go!”

“You should listen to him,” Cassell said as she advanced with her troopers. “Or are you that eager to become my guest again?”

At that moment, Ezra deflected a red blaster bold from one of her stormtroopers right into her chest. She collapsed with a yell of surprise.

“ _That’s_ what I was waiting for!” Ezra retorted, before turning and racing back to the _Ghost_. “Hera, go!”

The last thing he saw as he jumped to the ramp was Cassell unmoving on the floor, stormtroopers crowded around her, and one talking urgently into his comm.

* * *

Even in the safety of his room aboard the _Ghost_ , Ezra didn’t allow himself to relax until Zeb stopped by and said they were in hyperspace on their way back to Yavin 4. Only then did he put his arm over his eyes, as if that would block out what had happened. He was okay – mostly – and would get through it, but he worried, as he usually did, even when he shouldn’t, about Sabine. He knew it irritated her that he worried, because, as she’d told him once, “she didn’t need his worry.” (He knew that, too.) But nothing she said, nothing she did, could stop him from rushing to her defense, or putting himself in harm’s way to protect her. She protected him, too, but…not the way he protected her.

Fiercely.

Sabine Wren was a warrior. A _Mandalorian_ warrior. She needed protection like a loth-cat needed fleas. She could take care of herself; she always had. So why did it feel like he had failed her this time?

Ezra let out a breath, and his hand dropped to the mattress as he stared at the ceiling above him. He wasn’t going to get any rest, not until he saw her and made sure she was okay.

“Bad idea,” Zeb said the minute Ezra stepped out of his room.

“What’re _you_ doing here?” Ezra replied crossly, frowning at the Lasat. “Are you my _guard_?”

“Hera gave me orders to watch this door and make sure you stayed put. You’re on bedrest.”

Ezra shouldered past him. “I’m fine. It was just a little truth drug – ”

But Zeb pushed him back none too gently and glared down at him. “You’re not fine. Neither is she. And if you think you’re going to go talk to her about it, heh, you’re wrong.”

Ezra scowled. “And you know so much about human behavior.”

“More than you.”

He had a point – Ezra’s attempts at talking to Sabine had mostly flopped early on – but he wasn’t about to concede it. “Can I at least talk to Kanan?”

“You lie poorly, kid.”

“Fine. I really will talk to him.”

Zeb watched him for a moment, then let him pass. “Don’t make me come get you,” he threatened. Ezra waved vaguely at him over his shoulder.

He found Kanan playing dejarik with Chopper, and losing badly, a frown of deep concentration on his face.

“You should’ve moved your pawn there,” Ezra said, indicating a better spot for his master’s last move.

“Wouldn’t have mattered,” Kanan said. “Chopper cheats.”

The droid spat indignantly, but he didn’t deny it.

“You’re upset,” Kanan added.

Ezra watched the game for a moment as Chopper made his move, then pushed a button to move Kanan’s pawn. Chopper snarled as it crushed his piece.

“It’s about what happened,” Ezra said, and Kanan shut off the board (much to Chopper’s irritation). The droid turned around and wheeled away, spouting insults all the while. Ezra sat down opposite Kanan.

“There is always great suffering in victory,” Kanan said. “It is wielded like a prize by those who seek to destroy us, who serve the dark side.”

Ezra fiddled with the controls on the side of the table, pushing the inert buttons. “I’m okay with it. It’s just…”

“Sabine.”

“…yeah.”

“She took it hard.”

“She thinks she gave information away.”

“She did.”

“It wasn’t her fault. The drug – ”

Kanan raised his hand, and Ezra cut himself off. “I’m not blaming her, Ezra.”

Ezra looked down at the gameboard, scratching at a spot of dried caf with his thumbnail. “I don’t know what to do.”

“She needs time. She feels guilty. She feels weak. You didn’t tell them anything because you had the Force to protect you, and she’s angry at herself.”

Ezra stared at the table. “I don’t know how to help.”

“Sometimes,” Kanan said, “nothing helps.”

_Nothing but time._

\---

It was ship’s night and Zeb had turned in early. Ezra lay awake in his bunk, hands behind his head, still unable to sleep. The Bavo Six had finally worked its way completely out of his system, and he felt back to normal for the most part. Now, only the memories of his brief imprisonment remained.

His memories, and whatever Sabine carried within her now.

He swung his legs over the side of the bunk and dropped down. Zeb didn’t stir. Ezra crept out and down the hall to Sabine’s room. He could hear her moving around inside – it wasn’t that late – and he held up his fist to knock – hesitated – and rapped on her door.

After a moment, it opened. Her blank expression didn’t change. She probably expected him to stop by at some point. It was in his nature, and she knew him well.

 “I know what this is about,” she said, crossing her arms. “I’m not interested in talking.”

“Okay,” Ezra replied with a shrug. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m _fine_ , Ezra.”

“Okay. I just thought…you know…since we were both there…if you wanted to…”

“I don’t.” She stepped back and put her hand on the door closer.

“Wait,” he said. She did, but he honestly didn’t have a reason to stall her. He just wasn’t ready for that to be the end of the conversation, for her to go already. “Just…if you need to talk – ”

“Goodnight.” She pressed the button, shutting the door in his face. Ezra knew better than to linger, and he turned to head back to his bunk.

He got halfway down the hall when the door slid open again, and her voice called to him again, quietly: “Wait.”

He turned back to see her half out of her room. She disappeared back inside it, and he approached warily. This was new. She’d never let him into her space before. He entered the room, and she shut the door behind him. This time, he waited while she found words.

“I’m weak,” she finally said, after what felt like a very long moment of silence. “I talked.”

“You’re not weak,” Ezra said. “They drugged you. They drugged me, too.”

She looked up at him, and he saw discouragement in her eyes. “And did _you_ spill our secrets?”

Ezra felt his cheeks warm. “No, but – ”

“So don’t pretend you know how I feel.”

That silenced him, and she didn’t say anything else, either. He wasn’t good at this sort of thing, even though he tried. Mostly he seemed to make things worse.

“I just…thought…” He trailed off, realizing there was nothing more he could say. Finally, he just nodded. “You’re right. Goodnight, Sabine.”

She didn’t say anything as he left, and sleep did not come to him easily that night.


	4. Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine finally comes to Ezra to talk.

The Spectres’ quarters on Yavin 4 were cold, impersonal, just doors in a long, anonymous hallway, same as any other. Hera was granted better quarters that she didn’t have to share with anyone because of her rank, but Ezra found himself, as usual, sharing with Zeb. He had asked Kanan if they could share, but Kanan had stumbled over some excuse about how he’s “never in his quarters at night” and “insomnia.” Ezra said that sounded perfect to him, but Kanan muttered something else and quickly detached himself from the conversation. Ezra crossed his arms in irritation, and Zeb gave a hearty laugh and smacked him between the shoulder blades, nearly knocking him over.

“You really don’t get it, do you, kid?” he said. Ezra had shouldered by him and gone looking for food.

They arrived at Yavin 4 at dusk. The crew immediately set off in search of food, all except for Ezra. He didn’t want to eat, even though it had been hours since he’d eaten. Nothing sounded good, and he didn’t have an appetite. His stomach was still in knots, even with days and parsecs between what had happened at Cassell’s prison. Instead, he headed to the edge of the jungle to meditate, like Kanan often did. He knelt down and closed his eyes, clearing his mind as he breathed out. He needed to move past what had happened. Forgive and forget. Let it go.

Ezra sensed woolamanders wandering out of the jungle toward him, making soft, curious noises. They were the same as the ones that always found him and Kanan. As he sank deeper into the Force and found peace, he sensed smaller creatures, too, a few pinkish salamanders from the nearby bog.

He sensed her before he heard her, and he slowly pulled himself out of the meditation.

“Ezra?”

He pushed to his feet, one hand on his knee to get up, and turned around. “Hi, Sabine.” Her eyes shifted to a spot above him. A couple salamanders had crawled up on top of his head and shoulder. He shrugged. “They were lonely.”

“I get that.” She looked away, clutching her elbows. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Sabine walked toward him, and they set off into the jungle. She frowned at their escort of woolamanders.

“These just…follow you?” she commented. Ezra shrugged again.

“They do what they want, but maybe they’re bored.” He plucked a piece of ripe, juicy fruit from a nearby tree and handed it to the woolmander by his feet. It took it from him and burbled, tongue coming out to lick its lips.

“I had a cat once,” Sabine said. “It was really stupid.”

They wandered until the jungle obscured the Massassi temple almost completely from view. Ezra gave Sabine her space, waiting for her to speak if she chose to. Her presence was disquieted, in turmoil.

When they’d walked for long enough, he stopped in a small clearing, and the salamanders scuttled away to another bog. Sabine slammed her back against a tree and crossed her arms.

“It’s my fault,” she said angrily. “I shouldn’t have come after you. I should’ve trusted that you would handle it. Then Cassell wouldn’t have all that information.”

“It’s not your fault.” Ezra crouched down to pet the woolamander female’s head, and she made a pleased rumble in her throat, stretching up into his palm. “We’re a team. We work together.”

“Kanan’s disappointed in me. So is Hera.”

“They’re not disappointed in you.” He stood and turned to her. She had her eyes on the ground, a deep frown set in her face. “Cassell’s dead, and without her leadership, the place is going to be a mess. We don’t have to worry.” Still, Sabine shook her head. “Look, when I feel bad, I come here. Among all the life here. It makes me feel better.” He reached out and took her hand in his, the warmth of her bare skin against his exploding across his consciousness. Neither of them had their gloves on, and with him being so attuned to the Force right now, having just come out of a Jedi meditation, it was almost too much. Refocusing, Ezra placed her hand against the tree. “See? If you connect to life, it makes you feel less darkness.”

Sabine looked up at him, her expression shifting to neutral, with a little bit of wonder in there. Ezra suddenly felt self-conscious, and he dropped her hand and looked away.

“At least, it works that way for me,” he said.

Sabine stepped away from the tree to fall into step beside him, opening her mouth to reply. But as they walked, a woolamander darted in front of her. She stumbled over the animal, falling sideways into Ezra. He caught her in his arms as he lost his balance, the weight of her body knocking him back until his back slammed into a tree. He wanted to scowl at the woolamanders, brush it off, make a comment, anything to relieve the awkward situation, but instead, he just stared at her. She’d never been this close before, except when she’d dragged him through the night sky on Mandalore without warning after she’d gotten her jetpack. What was more…she wasn’t pulling away. Instead, she reached up and brushed her fingers across the parallel scars on his cheek, feather-light. His instinct was to turn his face away – he hated them – but he forced himself to stay still, eyes on her face, watching her closely. She gave nothing away, just simply…studied him.

Then she ran her hand through his hair to the back of his head. “I hate your hair short,” she said.

“What?”

It was all he got out before she – of all things – pulled his face to hers and kissed him, right on the lips, the absolute last thing he would ever expect. And it was such a shock to him, such a complete, total jolt to his system, that he locked up like he’d been frozen in carbonite. If Sabine noticed, she didn’t comment on it when she leaned back – only a little.

“Okay?” she asked, her voice just a murmur.

Ezra’s brain finally caught up, way too far behind. He forced himself to swallow, to find words. “Okay, yeah, sure, one hundred percent, I’m okay – ”

“Really, stop talking,” she said, and because there was a tiny shred of fairness still left in the galaxy, she kissed him again. He didn’t know if she’d done this before – he hadn’t thought about it…recently – but she was patient, giving him time to tighten his hold around her, to catch his breath, to take another and kiss her back. He wanted to put his hands someplace, stand less awkwardly, move the stubby branch that was digging into his side. She had all her weight against him, pressing him back against the tree, and he couldn’t breathe right. Or maybe that was because of what was happening.

Sabine’s hands touched his face again, gently, unsure, cupping it between her palms, and it was such tenderness that he had never seen nor expected from her. It shook Ezra to his core, that she could be like this, and even more, that she would _want_ to be, with him. Of course he’d never kissed anyone before – where would the opportunity have been? – and his mind spun in frenzied circles as it stretched on. This was completely new territory to him, ground he’d thought of time and again but had no experience with. Kanan had talked to him about it once – terribly awkwardly – but that was the extent of it all. His mind had conjured up all sorts of scenarios for this moment over the years, but Ezra had never thought it would actually come to fruition. He thought Sabine had made it pretty clear how she felt, and their relationship had shifted, anyway, into something else that he was okay with.

Or he was, until right now, feeling her lips, soft, smooth, against his in the jungle dusk, her hands on his shoulders now. It was intense in a way he didn’t think was normal, her feelings washing through over the Force as she connected with him both physically and emotionally, heightening his experience. He’d heard of forbidden Jedi couples and how these things resonated between each partner, mirrored, magnified, but to actually experience it was something else entirely. Something incomparable to everything else in his life, little that there was of it.

When Sabine’s lips left his, she leaned against him, her cheek on his chest, and he wondered at this change in her, that such a thing as the prison could seemingly break her and seek this with him. It wasn’t a thought he wanted to have. Still, he wrapped his arms tight around her and rested his own cheek on the top of her head, closing his eyes as he cradled her close. He felt warm, cheeks flushed, and didn’t know what his next move was supposed to be. It wasn’t like Sabine to act out of an emotion, so…what was this supposed to be? His default was to say something stupid, he knew, but right now…he felt like he needed to be quiet. Just having her in his arms, in the peace and safety of Yavin 4, was enough.

He found himself sighing out against her hair, tendrils of it stirring beneath his lips.

Sabine gently pulled away, and Ezra released her reluctantly. He missed her presence immediately. He thought she was going to walk back – maybe pretend like this whole thing hadn’t happened – but instead, she sat down with her back to the tree. Ezra sat down beside her, waiting, the silence not uncomfortable.

“Do you think this is ever going to end?” she asked.

 _Loaded question,_ he thought. But, “Yes,” he said. “Someday. I don’t know if we’ll be here for it.” He leaned forward and plucked up a blade of the sparse jungle grass, running it through his fingers. He needed something to fidget with.

“What do you see happening?”

Ezra took pause, pressing his lips together. He thought about that often, too, but it was hazy to him. “I think…in the end, it’ll be okay, but…it’s going to be a long road to get there. Still.” Then he focused on the grass, rolling it up before shredding it and swallowing. He didn’t want to tell her the next bit. “I think my part may be coming to an end.”

Sabine reached over for his hand, interlaced their fingers. “That doesn’t surprise me, I guess.”

“It’s not what I want.”

Sabine turned to him then, and he looked over at her. She gave him an appraising look, eyes squinted together. “What _do_ you want?”

He couldn’t hold her gaze, but his fingers clenched unconsciously on hers. “Peace,” he said. “For Lothal, for all of us. For people to stop suffering. For the Empire to go away. To not have to keep losing so much. For you to…” He trailed off. It was too much.

“For me to what?”

“To feel better.” _Lame._ He didn’t have the right words for this.

Sabine looked away with a smile. “I’m okay,” she said. Then added, “Now.”

Ezra looked up at her, starting to feel warm again. “Now?”

“Don’t push it.”

He looked down with a bit of a smile on his face, staring at the green moss and feeling her bare hand warm in his. He didn’t need to know in exact words. For now, this was enough.


	5. Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine, still a little off-balance after the prison, asks Ezra to stay with her in her quarters. Things take an unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got pretty long for me. I tried to split it up, but it didn't read right. Ah, well, everyone likes long chapters, right? I didn't figure anyone would mind. :) This ended up taking a different route than planned thanks to my buddy from another fandom, [Dystopian_Dramaqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dystopian_Dramaqueen/pseuds/Dystopian_Dramaqueen), who encouraged me to write where the story was nudging me to go. (Still so flattered you read my other work, my friend! <3) I really like how this turned out, actually, and I hope you guys like it, too. <3 I just adore this pairing. They're so sweet and pure, and I love them more and more on every rewatch.
> 
> P.S. Bumping up the rating.

They sat in contented silence for a little longer before Sabine got up and started walking back to the temple in the dark. When they got there, Ezra followed her through the base, belatedly remembering he still hadn’t eaten and was now hungry, but not about to ruin this.

Sabine, though, appeared to read his thoughts. “Do you want to get something to eat?” she asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replied.

Hopefully the rest of the _Ghost_ crew wouldn’t be there, because he wanted some more time alone with her (or as alone as one could ever get on base, or on the _Ghost_ , or fighting a war). They went on missions alone all the time, but now that things had…shifted…and he felt uneasy about it (but not in a bad way), he needed to feel things out a bit more, be sure that this was the direction she truly wanted to go. That it hadn’t just been a fluke. Even if it had, he could live with it. Probably.

He wasn’t in love with her. He refused to allow himself to think that. At one time, he thought he was, a boyhood crush when he didn’t know any better. What he felt was not something he could put into words or easily explain, but at the same time… _not_ calling it love didn’t feel right, either.

Ezra glanced at Sabine as they walked to the mess hall. Certainly she didn’t feel the same way. If anything, he’d been nothing but obnoxious to her for three years. Or maybe she just found everybody irritating. She was Mandalorian, after all, and prone to being short-tempered. Still, underneath that there was always a fondness, and she put up with his crush with a good amount of grace.

He brushed his fingers along the pommel of his lightsaber hanging at his belt. Time would tell, he supposed, and Jedi weren’t supposed to feel these attachments, anyway. Or they weren’t in the past, and while he’d understood the reasoning, he couldn’t imagine not feeling the love he felt for his _Ghost_ family, for his parents. Kanan had always shown him as much love as any father could, and had had no qualms about being attached to his family.

They arrived at the mess hall, and Ezra cleared his mind. It was too much to think about, and at any rate, it didn’t need to be sorted out today, at this very moment. Another glance at Sabine showed her looking eagerly at the food line, probably not thinking about this at all. She’d probably already moved past it, while he was torturing himself over it. It was also probably just as well that she’d never touched him before, if this was what one kiss could do to him. (Or two kisses, rather.)

Ezra’s stomach dropped when he saw Kanan, Hera, Zeb, and Kallus at a table in the middle of the room. He still felt unbalanced, and one (or all) of them would surely pick up on it. As he and Sabine got in line for food, he scowled when he saw Zeb rise from the table with his tray and meander over, ready for seconds as usual.

“Where’ve you two been?” he asked gruffly.

“Out,” Ezra snapped. “Have you guys been here the whole time? Eating?”

“No place else to be.” Zeb shuffled forward in the line behind Ezra. “What were you up to?”

_“Meditation.”_

“Sabine?”

“Target practice,” she lied smoothly, arriving at the selection of food and taking a protein cube.

“Heh-heh-heh.”

Ezra glared at Zeb before choosing his own food. When they got to the end, he picked up a plate of fruit he knew Sabine liked and handed it to her. She took it without a word, and he took one for himself. Zeb started guffawing again.

“What is your problem?” Ezra asked as they moved away from the line, Sabine a few steps ahead of them. “Other than needing a bath?”

“No problem,” Zeb said innocently. “I think you’re the one with the _problem_.”

Ezra just glared again and shook his head. When they got to the crew’s table, he set his tray down with a clatter and took a seat across from Sabine.

“Everything all right?” Hera asked.

“Zeb’s fur is matted and he’s in a foul mood,” Ezra said.

“It is not,” Zeb replied. “I’ve been using a new shampoo and conditioning, thank you very much.”

Unconsciously, Ezra brushed his fingers back across the scars on his face, thinking about Sabine’s soft touch in the jungle.

“Ezra,” Hera said, snapping him out of it. He dropped his hand and looked up, realizing his spoon was still suspended over what the Alliance called _soup_. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, looking down and putting the spoon in his mouth as his cheeks warmed again.

Both he and Sabine ate their food quickly, while the crew lingered and chatted. Kallus excused himself for a late Intelligence meeting, and Sabine tossed the contents of her tray and returned it shortly after. Ezra was just about to do the same and find a dessert, but when Sabine left the hall, he quickly bussed his tray and went after her. If Zeb laughed at him, he didn’t hear it.

“Sabine, wait.” She didn’t, but he easily caught up to her. He opened his mouth to say something else, but there were so many people around. So many. It was good to see the Alliance’s ranks swelled with fighters, but he just needed a moment of _privacy_ with her. Not thinking much further than that, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a side hallway with dim lighting. He wanted to do something to reassure her that Zeb was just being an ass as usual – touch her or comfort her somehow – but again, he didn’t know the right thing. The din of the crowd outside faded away as he focused on her. Without thinking, his hand came up and touched her cheek. “Zeb’s just…being Zeb,” he said.

“He’s an idiot,” she retorted.

“I know that.”

“I just don’t need Zeb on my case.”

Ezra dropped his hand, cold worry slithering into his gut. “We don’t…you don’t…have to do this if you don’t want to.”

He meant it, every word, even though it hurt to say them. The last thing he would ever want to do was hurt _her_ , even at the risk of destroying himself and all his hopes. He knew, deep in his soul, that he only had this one chance with her, this tiny window of opportunity that had opened up in the fabric of the universe, and if it didn’t go right, it would snap shut and never open again. They would both be too hurt, too scared, too skittish, to ever try again.

Sabine just shook her head and turned away, heading the opposite way out of the hallway to a lesser used one. Ezra followed her silently as she made her way through the temple, heading toward the wing of sleeping quarters.

When they drew up to Sabine’s door, Ezra’s heart sank. The evening was coming to an end sooner than he thought. He fidgeted with his lightsaber and shuffled nervously.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. _And go back to my room and deal with Zeb._

“No, stay,” she said, her hand straying to his arm. “You don’t have to go. I wouldn’t mind the company.” She shook her head. “I’ll get over the prison, it’s just going to take time.” She keyed the door and walked in. Her room looked just the same as his and Zeb’s, only it had just one bunk. She shrugged when she saw Ezra looking at it. “No one wanted to room with me. Can you imagine?”

“No one wanting to room with a Mandalorian? Shocking.” She punched him in the arm, hard enough to bruise. “Ow!” His hand flew to the spot. “See, that was my point.” He glanced around the room, his eyes ultimately landing on the bed again. “So…how long do you need me? Want me? To stay,” he quickly amended. Sabine blinked at him as his face burst into flames. “Shavit.”

“Don’t even think about it, or I really will punch you.” She waited a beat. “Where it counts.”

He was still holding his throbbing arm. “I wasn’t thinking anything.” Sabine arched a brow. “My arm still hurts. I’m good with being punched for today. You scare me.”

As if to punctuate the point, she started pulling her weapons out of their holsters and laying them on a rickety chair next to the door. He wondered briefly if she was considering shooting him, and came to the conclusion that there was probably a good ten percent chance she was.

Weirdly, the thought made him smile. She was something, and he’d always liked that about her.

“You can stay,” she said patiently, as if talking to a puppy, “but just this night. And on the floor. And keep your hands to yourself unless I say otherwise.”

Ezra raised his hands to show her he wasn’t a threat. “No worries. I’ll only touch myself.” He winced at the wording. “ _Kriff._ I’ll show myself out.”

Sabine began undoing her armor, regarding him curiously. “Why are you so nervous? I thought you were one of the last remaining Jedi.”

“You _punched_ me!”

“Kanan didn’t teach you how to deal with punches?”

“He did, but – ” Ezra cut himself off when he realized she was just screwing with him, and he looked away, letting out a breath. “Sabine, you’re…a force to be reckoned with. I know my place in the larger battle going on, but this? I’m not…I don’t know…”

Sabine slid her chestplate off and set it aside, then stepped up to him with a smile. “Ezra, I’m just giving you a hard time. That’s just who I am, and I’m not going to change. You know that.”

“I do. That’s what I like about you. You know who you are, and you’re strong and confident.” Looking back up, into her open eyes, he took a chance and reached out for her hand. She didn’t pull away, instead curling her fingers around his. “I don’t always feel like that. Sometimes I feel…”

“What?”

“Small.”

“Trust me, you’re not.” She tightened her hand and took another step so that she was almost brushing against him. “Things changed after you came along. They were certainly a lot more interesting. I’m glad Kanan found you, even if you were irritating.”

“I think everyone’s irritating at fourteen.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Of course you weren’t.”

Sabine clasped her hands together around his neck, taking him by surprise, and gave him a challenging smile. “Want to kiss me again?”

“I’m afraid to.” He said the words, but instinct took over and his hands went to her waist without him meaning to do it. Sabine tilted her face up to him, and his heart thudded with nerves but he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again. It was easier than before, less awkward, and he felt them both fall into a rhythm where before they had none. He wanted to touch more of her, feel her face and feel her hair soft beneath his fingertips, but he truly was afraid. Not that she’d punch him – although she still might – but that he’d mess up this one chance she’d given him. Still, the fear edged away as her arms tightened around his neck, as he pulled her to his body, as he kissed her with growing confidence. He feared, too, that he’d lose her, that if he cared too much, and as more than just a crewmember and friend, that it made him more vulnerable, that it was a weapon to be used against him and ultimately, more for him to lose.

Ezra’s breath hitched, and Sabine sensed something and pulled away. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he answered, leaning his forehead to hers. She smiled gently at him.

“I don’t think you will. I’m pretty hard to get rid of.”

He didn’t say anything. He was out of words, and anything else was too frightening to voice. So he kissed her again, harder, suddenly overwhelmed by the fear of loss, his hand sliding into her hair. It felt like a very long time before they broke for air.

“We’re going to get orders in the morning,” Sabine murmured. She was still so close, her fingers curled into his collar. “We need to go to sleep.”

Ezra swallowed. _Sleep. Right._ “You still want me to stay?”

“If you want to.”

 _Yes._ Ezra couldn’t imagine going back to Zeb now, not when he was flustered and flushed and dizzy and his breaths were short. Sabine continued removing her armor, and then she raised her eyebrows at him as he openly stared.

“Do you mind?” she said.

“Oh, sorry.” He quickly turned around, shaking his head at himself for his stupidity. The rooms didn’t have private refreshers, and she needed to change into her night clothes. He’d seen her in them dozens of times before – they both had a late night snack habit, and occasionally Hera had roused the crew for urgent middle-of-the-night meetings – but this night just felt different. A little too close, personal. He took his time unbuckling his holster, hands fumbling with the clasp, and set it on the chair with Sabine’s weapons. He wondered, as he looked at the pile, if the day ever _would_ come where they wouldn’t need to be armed at all times. As a Jedi, he planned to always carry his lightsaber with him, but he hoped that someday they’d be able to live in peace, maybe on Lothal, him and Sabine and loth-cats and –

He froze midway through pulling his shirt off over his head, and he cursed again to himself. This was _not good_ if he was thinking this far ahead into the future, one that was hazier than the one he’d told Sabine about in the jungle. A nervous chill swept over him at the thought, despite the heat and humidity. He forced it away and sat on the ground to take his boots and socks off.

_I do not love her, I do not love her, I do not love her. It’s too early for that. I can’t feel that way._

Then why did his heart pound so much, why did he feel a sudden urge to run at the same time he felt like he just wanted her to hold him and never let go, for this war to end and never touch them again here? He sighed and raked his hand back through his hair – briefly thinking about Sabine’s comment about how short it was and wondering if he should grow it out again – and did everything he could to push all the thoughts away.

Ezra stood up and turned back to Sabine. She was dressed in her modest sleep clothes – shorts and a tank top – and getting into the bed, and he was in his undershirt and pants, simultaneously feeling too exposed and too hot. As he watched, Sabine moved all the way toward the wall, leaving a thin section of the bed empty…and the covers turned back. She was on her side facing away from him.

She’d said he had to stay on the floor. She’d said not to think about it.

He was _definitely_ thinking about it.

Ezra took a deep breath, let it out quietly, and crossed the room toward her, gently sinking down onto the thin mattress. He slid his legs in, pulled the light covers over his body, lay down. Inched a little closer to her.

Sabine shifted back toward him, and he did the same again toward her, until he could hold her in his arms again, cozy under the covers. He couldn’t help how his hand on her waist rose up toward her bare arm, skimming down it, wanting to feel more, more of her warm, smooth skin. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, his lips very close to her shoulder and desperate to kiss her there.

So he did.

Soft, gentle, but his fingers clenched on her arm and he pushed as close as he could to her. A breath sighed out of her as she shifted against him, and he wondered if she felt uncomfortable or…something else.

Sabine flipped over in his arms and yanked his body to her by his undershirt. She kissed him more urgently this time, breathless, and Ezra couldn’t help but think that they were getting better at this, and that it might never get old. Sabine tugged at him, shifting again until he found his body covering hers, and it felt so much easier than before, when they were out in the jungle just mere hours earlier. Her top rode up, and she took his hand from her face to bring it down to her waist. The fabric pooled on his wrist as his hand slid higher, over her ribs, and he felt her breathe in, then out.

Then her own hands, quick, clever, were at the hem of his undershirt and dragging it up. His heart thudded so hard it nearly hurt, skipping too fast for Ezra to get a handle on his breathing. He was shaking, he realized, nervous about where this was going. When she reached for her own top and removed it, his breath caught.

“Sabine,” he whispered, feeling the need to check in with her. His bare chest was pressed to hers, and he was overcome by the desire to touch every part of her. He wanted to _see_ every part of her, know it, the way he knew the external part of her so well. But at the same time, he was afraid to look, afraid she didn’t want him to look, that she didn’t truly want to look at him, either.

But she did. Ezra pushed up onto his elbows as Sabine ran her hand down his front, and he watched, curious. He chanced a glance at her face to find it focused on what she was doing, intently studying him, literally revealed to her in this new light. She looked up at him for only a moment, while her hands met at the closures to his pants.

His breath caught again, and his hands clenched the sheet on either side of Sabine’s shoulders.

The rustling of the sheets. The fasteners opening. The groan of the cheap mattress. Ezra catalogued all of these sounds. Sabine’s eyes met his again.

“Okay?” she asked, same as in the jungle.

Her eyes were open, sincere – they always had been. And she meant it, too. If it wasn’t okay, she wouldn’t push or make things weird. There was too much adrenaline in Ezra’s body, too much tightness in his chest, but he gave her his honest answer.

“Yes.”

She kissed him again, surging up the short distance to his mouth, and he breathed out against her, wanting this night between them to never end. It was a blur, then, slowly helping one another, clothing dropping out of the bed onto the floor, until nothing else remained. The feel of all of her skin against all of his was the best thing he’d ever felt, and he would’ve been fine if she didn’t want more.

But she did.

And truthfully, so did he.

Sabine kissed his neck, finding a tender spot that made a shiver skate over him, and he found the same for her (a place under her right ear). He returned to the spot over and over, enjoying how she liked it, how it made her laugh, how her fingers clenched on him when he kissed it. Each touch was tentative, exploratory, languid.

Then the moment came where they slowed down and caught each other’s gazes again, when he knew, instinctively… _this was it_.

“What about, um,” he stumbled. “Are you… Should I…should I get something…?”

Like they had anything with them right now, or as if the room somehow miraculously came with protection.

“No, I'm covered,” Sabine said. “One of the few perks of the Rebellion.”

Relief flooded through Ezra. “Oh, that’s good, that’s very progressive, they should definitely – ”

“Ezra.”

_Shavit._

But she was smiling sweetly at him, as if she found him endearing. So he kissed her again, and tried to keep his nerves at bay. This had definitely not been in the cards when he’d awoken this morning to Zeb throwing something at his face, and he was still trying to come to grips with the reality of it. But he took a breath, and he intertwined his fingers with hers on the pillow.

Ezra watched her face closely for any signs of discomfort as he settled onto his forearms. As soon as he saw her wince, he spoke.

“Are you okay?” he asked quickly. “I can stop. We don’t have to – ”

“No.” Sabine reached up with her free hand to touch his cheek. “I’m okay.”

Still, Ezra sent her a small nudge through the Force. He didn’t want her to feel any sort of pain, especially if he was the one causing it. He both felt and saw her relax, and he kissed her again, more able to relax himself now that he knew she was taken care of. And then he realized…he did love her. He _loved her_. He wanted to say it. It was on the tip of his tongue. But he knew that expressing a sentiment like that in the heat of the moment, right in the middle of sex, was not wise. She would want to hear it, he figured, some other time, in some other situation that wasn’t so charged.

Ezra continued to watch Sabine’s face, more relief flowing through him as it shifted to enjoyment, as she was able to begin to get lost in it. He let go of his worry and concern and allowed himself to get lost in her, in the act, too, wanting nothing more than to get lost as deep in her soul as he could. Her eyes closed, and when he saw a small tear slip out, the worry came surging back, but…there was nothing wrong in her Force sense. Nothing bad. Nothing but…pure joy, adoration, happiness, all the things he felt for her, too. He kissed her tear away, and he pressed his forehead to hers, brushing her hair back. Sabine clutched him tightly, her breathing heavy, and she let out a small gasp as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, his teeth gritted. As he lay against her, heart thundering, she tenderly cradled his head and dropped a kiss to his temple.

When he’d stilled, when his body had stopped quaking, Sabine turned them over onto their sides and brushed sweat away from his forehead. She curled into him, her hand finding his again and weaving their fingers together. Ezra waited a moment before speaking, not nervous now but high on so much else, emotionally, physically, everything.

“Are you okay?” he asked again. “Was that…okay?”

He wasn’t expecting anything; certainly not any compliments. He just wanted to know – he had to be sure – she had at least experienced what he had, the excitement, the pleasure, any of it. That it felt good for her, too, that she enjoyed that it had been with him.

“It was…um…” she started. “Different.”

That set off warning bells in Ezra’s head. “Different?”

“Not what I expected. I didn’t expect it to be like that.”

Immediately he started cursing to himself yet again, and his hand loosened in hers. What had he done wrong?

Sabine continued, “I didn’t expect to be able to feel what you were feeling, I mean. I could almost hear what you were thinking, too, and it was like… I got caught in an undertow once when I was a kid and grabbed onto this rock on the bottom. It was sort of like that.”

Ezra felt himself blush. “Oh. The Force, I guess. Must’ve been.” He readjusted his grip on her and relaxed. “Yeah, it…wasn’t what I expected, either. It was, um…intense? Really intense. I mean, I guess that’s obvious…”

Sabine chuckled and reached up to put her arms around his neck and pull him close. “I know what you mean.” Then she released him and took his hand again, bringing it to her lips to kiss his knuckles. “What do we tell the crew?”

“Why do we have to tell them anything? I don’t want to share a room with Zeb laughing at me.”

“You think Zeb has ever had sex?”

Ezra scowled. “Shavit, _why_?”

Sabine laughed. “I’m sorry, but Zeb is _totally_ going to tease you.”

Ezra settled down in the bed, resting his head on her chest. Her heart beat steadily below his ear, and for a moment, he just listened to it. He couldn’t recall ever hearing someone else’s heartbeat before. Sabine ran her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes with a sigh. He was more than ready to fall asleep now. What a day it had been.

Sleep started to steal across him, and he let it, his breath evening out.

“Sabine,” he mumbled.

“Hm.” She sounded on the verge of sleep, too, and her hands had slowed in his hair.

“You’re really pretty.”

She laughed again, quietly, a short little sound, and Ezra smiled. It was not long after that he fell asleep, content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading, and especially thanks for comments! I love hearing what you think!! <3


	6. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. The crew launches on a new mission. Ezra realizes his feelings for Sabine go deeper than he thought.

Ezra woke early the next morning, to two unfamiliar sensations: waking before his alarm (and not being tired) and warm skin against his.

Everywhere.

If he’d ever shared a bed with someone, he didn’t remember it. His parents had probably laid next to him for naps or after putting him to bed for the night, but he’d been on the streets for a long time, only himself as his company. Waking to coldness, emptiness, not a shred of warmth in sight. That was a long time ago, it seemed.

It might as well have been a lifetime ago now.

His arms wrapped around Sabine, her naked back against his chest, and their legs were tangled together. The covers had stayed at their shoulders, which – weirdly enough, he thought – he felt grateful for. Despite what had happened last night, he still felt – or maybe felt _more_ – shy around her, a little too vulnerable now.

Sabine’s hair was a mess, endearingly so, and she looked so peaceful. Less deadly. But Ezra knew her for the warrior she was, and his heart swelled to see her like this, to know she trusted him so deeply, deep enough to _let_ him see her like this. She trusted him with all of her.

For a few moments, he just watched her in wonder. He delicately touched her soft hair, ran the backs of his fingers down her arm, dropped his forehead to her shoulder and closed his eyes again. She was beautiful to him, more precious than anything he’d seen in all his travels across the galaxy. He would die in a heartbeat for her. From the moment he’d first seen her face, in all its touchy irritation, he’d fallen for her.

Sabine stirred in his arms and turned over, burrowing into his chest. “Is it time to get up already?”

“It’s still early.”

She yawned, her breath tickling his skin when she breathed out. “Then go back to sleep.”

“I should probably go before someone drops by.”

Sabine yawned again. “Don’t worry, I’ll punch them for you.”

“I appreciate that,” Ezra said sincerely, “but it might be kind of awkward.”

“I know what you meant.”

Her toes came up to his shin and pushed. A thrill went through him at the contact, new and unexpected. But then she kept shoving.

“I’m going,” he said, but instead of letting her playfully shove him out of the bunk, he quickly turned her over onto her back. She looked up at him with a smirk.

“You’re not going,” she said softly.

“I can’t really bring myself to,” he replied. Leaning down, he gently kissed her, then sighed a quiet breath before laying his cheek on her chest. “I don’t want to.”

Sabine didn’t reply, just circled her arms loosely around him, and he closed his eyes again, dozing off until his alarm awakened him back to reality again.

As luck would have it, Ezra ran right into Zeb as he was stepping out of Sabine’s quarters.

“What’re _you_ doing here?” the Lasat asked. Ezra gave him his fiercest scowl, like he had every right to be there. “These aren’t your quarters.”

“They’re not?” Ezra said. “Funny, they _looked_ like mine.”

“Bit early for you to be up, isn’t it?”

The lie came easily. “Sabine borrowed something and I needed it back before we ship out. Why are _you_ here?”

“Same reason.” Zeb folded his arms, and Ezra copied the move, leaning back against the stone wall of the temple. Mentally he ran over everything he wore to be sure he had it all: shirt, undershirt, pants, underwear, socks, boots. Check. Lightsaber, blaster, weapons belt. Check. Gloves… No, he wasn’t wearing them last night. They were back in his quarters.

The door opened again and Sabine exited. “Problem, Zeb?” she asked in a long-suffering tone.

“We have an early meeting,” Zeb said to her. “Hera just called.” Then he shifted his eyes to Ezra. “You didn’t come back last night.”

“Aw, did you miss me?” Ezra asked sarcastically as they began to walk. “Because I didn’t miss you.”

“Where were you?”

“Why do you care?”

“Why won’t you answer?”

“Can we please save the flirting for the _Ghost_?” Sabine cut in, and for a moment Ezra wondered if she was trying to help him conceal their relationship, but then he realized that, no, this was just Sabine being Sabine, irritated already with his and Zeb’s arguing.

“Right,” Zeb said with a roll of his eyes. “If I want to learn to flirt, the first person I’ll go to is Ezra Bridger. Force knows how good he is at it.” The Lasat chuckled to himself, pleased with the insult.

Ezra just shook his head and smiled.

* * *

The crew loaded up on the _Ghost_ two hours later and set off on their next mission. It was a good three hours after that before anyone had a chance to do their own thing, Hera having kept them all busy with mission talk. It was torture for Ezra, glancing at Sabine every so often, her eyes occasionally meeting his, longing to be alone with her again. No one seemed to notice that things were different between them – even Zeb didn’t seem to be any the wiser, not that that said anything. Finally, Hera released them all, and she and Kanan left for the cockpit, while Zeb and Chopper started playing a loud, insult-fueled game of dejarik. Ezra didn’t know where Sabine was and didn’t want to be too obvious about looking for her, so he went to the galley to get something to eat. She was there, pouring herself a drink, and he cautiously approached, looking over his shoulder as he did so. It had only been five hours since he’d last been alone with her, but already it felt too long. He wondered if he’d be able to survive this, being this close to her and not being able to touch her now that he _could_. Hiding it from everyone else.

“Hey,” he said quietly. Sabine glanced at him, checked behind him to be sure they were alone, and gave him a small smile.

“Hi.”

Ezra reached out and touched her hip as he stepped up to her. Already he was becoming more comfortable with this. “You know they’re going to figure it out.”

“I know,” she said. “It’s just a matter of time.”

He put his hand on her other hip and pulled her close. “I know we don’t want Zeb to gives us a hard time…but do you think Hera and Kanan will?”

“Chopper will.”

Ezra smiled. “Undoubtedly.” Then a thought flew into his mind, one he didn’t want to have, that he couldn’t believe could be true, and his face fell. “Sabine, if this isn’t…if it’s not… I mean, we don’t have to…continue…”

But she shook her head with a frown, and he sensed her becoming angry, her presence in the Force rippling with the emotion. “Why would you say that?”

He quickly let go of her and stepped back. He knew when she was in a punching mood, and he had no desire to be a recipient today. “I don’t want that,” he said. “I want…I’ve always wanted…”

Sabine opened her mouth to reply, and Ezra leaned closer to her, unable to resist the desire to kiss her again. She was right; the crew was going to find out sooner or later, and right now, he didn’t care if they all came out and found him kissing Sabine right there in the galley. He just _needed_ to touch her again, to feel her, to –

“That damn droid is a cheater,” Zeb growled as he stormed up. Ezra snapped back away from Sabine, and she all but jumped away against the counter. Zeb, luckily, had his eyes down and didn’t see. “Pulling illegal moves.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get when you play with Chopper,” Ezra said quickly, reaching up to awkwardly rub at the back of his neck. “Guess that’s on you. I’ve got to go. Later, Sabine.”

He left the galley at a brisk walk, heading back to his cabin. Once there, he shut the door and climbed up to his bunk, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling above him. He took a deep, cleansing breath, closed his eyes, and let it out. Meditation would help – _should_ help. At this point, though, his emotions were all banging around inside his head and he wasn’t sure _anything_ would help. He just needed five minutes alone to _think_.

Things had just gotten so complicated.

Granted, he wasn’t at all _unhappy_ with the way things had gone, or the direction they had taken – not in the slightest. Nor did he feel he wasn’t ready for it or couldn’t handle it. Things had just progressed so quickly, and he didn’t think Sabine had even wanted something romantic with him in the first place. He always had, and had spent many nights in this exact bunk thinking about kissing her, wondering what it would be like to touch her, to hear her say the things she’d now said to him. _I want you, too._ He was so much more aware of her Force sense now, having shared a physical connection with her, and such a deep one at that. Before, he used to focus on her the way any boy would on someone he liked, and the more he’d grown in the Force, the more he’d been able to sense the presences of those around him. But now, now that they’d entered a new level of their relationship – and made it _a_ relationship – becoming one physically, it was as if her presence had melded with his somehow, and was always there in the background of the Force humming away inside him. It was comforting, but also disquieting. He now had more to lose than he ever did before. While the _Ghost_ crew was his family and he couldn’t imagine losing a single one of them (even Chopper, he had to grudgingly admit), now that he’d shared last night with Sabine, their connection was so strong that it felt like if he lost it somehow, it would feel like an amputation.

An amputation of his soul.

_Kriff._

Ezra sat up in bed. He had to tell her sometime. She needed to know how he felt, even if it scared her or made her feel…the opposite of how he hoped.

The door whooshed open, and Zeb walked in. Ezra groaned and flopped back onto his pillow.

“Heh. Hey, kid,” Zeb said.

Ezra covered his eyes with his hand. “I’m not in the mood, Zeb. And I’m not a kid.”

“Someone steal your toys?”

“You know,” Ezra said testily, “the legal age for adulthood on most human planets is eighteen. I’m eighteen. Not a child. Go away.”

Showing any weakness around Zeb was, in general, a bad idea, but right now, Ezra didn’t feel he could handle the Lasat’s attitude.

“Ohh ho ho,” Zeb chortled. “Someone is in a _bad mood_.”

“It happens.” He put his other hand up over his face. Looking like he was having a mood swing didn’t help his cause, he realized.

“Hera’s looking for you,” Zeb said. “All I came in here to tell you. Sorry I disturbed your nap. When you’re done, you can come back and finish it up. I’ll even get your favorite stuffie.”

“You’re too kind.”

Ezra waited until Zeb had left and his heavy footsteps disappeared down the hall before climbing down from his bunk. Then he left his room and went to the cockpit, where he assumed Hera still was.

“You needed me?” he asked. Kanan’s head swiveled toward him at his tone, and his mouth turned down slightly. “Sorry. Zeb’s attitude is contagious.”

“Fair enough,” Hera said. “I wanted to alter your part of the mission a little bit. I need you and Sabine to drop in earlier at a different drop point. We just learned there are some extra troopers there, and I want to make sure we’re covered.”

“Sure. It’s no problem.”

“Thanks.”

Ezra turned to go, but Hera’s voice stopped him.

“Are you all right?” she asked, voice colored by concern. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

Ezra turned back, trying to keep his face and Force sense neutral. “I’m fine,” he said. “Nothing to worry about.”

Hera wasn’t completely buying it. “Okay…” she said. “Let Sabine know the change in plans, please.”

“Sure.”

Ezra left the cockpit and made a pass through the ship looking for Sabine. When he didn’t find her, he went to her cabin and knocked. She let him in and closed the door.

“Hera changed our mission a bit,” he said. “Different drop point at a different time. Extra troopers.”

“Sounds fun,” she said, then turned back to cleaning up her cans of paint on the floor. “I’ve been meaning to reorganize. Get rid of the expired ones and such.”

“Need any help?”

“Sure.”

For a few minutes, they cleaned in silence, but Ezra could feel the tension between them. A sort of heavy, burning tension that made him grind his teeth together, made his heart speed up. As they kneeled on the ground putting the last of the paints into Sabine’s crate, he wondered if she felt the same.

Then she looked at him when he glanced over at her for the fiftieth time, and he knew right in that moment that she did. He dropped the last can he was holding and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her like it had been weeks since he’d seen her instead of mere hours (and even then, they’d seen each other, just not alone). Sabine did what she usually did, which was grab his collar and hold on tight as she kissed him back, and he found that he really liked when she did that, holding onto him like she never wanted to let go, like he really, truly meant something huge to her. Finally, when he was sated, he broke for a breath and leaned his forehead against hers.

“Is it weird if I say I missed you?” he asked.

“No, I did, too,” she said. He caressed her face and smiled, glad that they finally had some time to be alone. His mind flipped through the memories of the night before, stirring up a flare of emotion in him again. Sabine smiled shyly at him, and he gave her the same sort of smile in return. “We’ll figure this out,” she said.

Ezra took her hand, where it was curled around his neck. “Promise?”

“Yes, I do.”

He looked down then, brushing his thumb back over her knuckles. _He had to tell her._ “Sabine,” he said, “I don’t know how to tell you this…”

He couldn’t see her expression, but he immediately sensed the change in her Force signature. “What? Is it bad?”

Ezra shook his head. “No, no, it’s…” He looked up into her eyes, full of concern, and he kicked himself for doing this wrong. “It’s just that…” He swallowed, thought about all the other scary situations he’d been in, and gathered the courage to forge ahead. “I love you.”

Sabine’s face brightened, a beautiful thing to behold. It made him smile, too, and he felt the joy radiating off of her in waves. “I know you do,” she said, and threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, inhaling deeply, luxuriating in the feel of her body against his and her familiar scent. He was glad to get that off his chest, even if it turned out she already knew it.

Sabine pressed a kiss to his neck, then hugged him tight again. “I have so much more to lose now,” she said, exactly what he’d been thinking earlier.

“I know,” Ezra replied. But for now, they were safe, and that was the reality he was going to have to live with going forward: moments of safety interspersed with moments of terror. There was no getting around it.

And awkward moments, too.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but…my knees hurt.”

Sabine rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder playfully, then got off his lap. She pulled him up by the hand, then arched a brow. “Think Hera would ever let us share a room?”

Ezra snorted. “I think she’d probably throw me out an airlock first.”

“I don’t know, she’s pretty fond of you.”

“ _Everyone_ is fond of a guy until they find out he’s sleeping with their girl.” Then he blushed and bit his tongue. “Or did. Don’t worry, I’m not making plans for the future. You’ve already punched me for today.”

 _But I would very much like to keep doing it,_ his mind broke in. Which just made him blush harder and frown at his own inner monologue.

“They’re probably wondering where you are,” Sabine said. “You should get back out there.”

“I’m going.” Ezra gave her a kiss on the cheek, squeezed her hand, and turned to go. “See you later?”

This time, Sabine snorted as she crossed her arms. “I’m sure you will.”

With a final smile, Ezra keyed the opener for her door and left her room. Kanan had replaced Zeb at the dejarik table and was scowling down at it with his chin propped on his fists. Zeb lounged nearby, while Chopper made suspicious noises.

“He _cheats_ ,” Ezra said as he walked up. “Why does anyone still play with him?”

“Because Hera hates the game, Sabine has crosswired it more than once, Zeb gets too angry, and you’re terrible at it,” Kanan said without looking up.

“At least I’m nice about it, and I play fair.” Ezra grabbed a piece of fruit off Zeb’s plate, which he knew the Lasat would never eat. Zeb growled but otherwise didn’t challenge him, and he dropped down into a sprawl next to Kanan.

“You should practice your exercises,” Kanan said as he was about to bite into the fruit.

“I will,” Ezra said, and took a bite. He glanced at Kanan and saw his master’s face turned toward him. “What? I’m hungry.”

“Then you’ll double your exercises.”

“Heh,” Zeb laughed. “Mouthing off before lunch. Early for you, isn’t it?”

“I’m trying to get my quota in so I can leave work early today.”

Hera came into the room then and glanced around. “I heard Zeb talk about lunch. Let’s make something and finalize plans. I’ve got a little more information to share, too. Where’s Sabine?”

“In her room,” Ezra said without thinking, focusing on twisting off the stem of the fruit. It went silent, and his heart dropped. He looked up into their staring eyes. “ _What?_ I just talked to her about the mission.”

“Stalker,” Zeb muttered.

“Am not.”

“Go get her,” Hera said. “Zeb, you start lunch.”

Zeb’s face fell, all mirth gone now. “But Hera, you know I hate – ”

“You don’t think I haven’t heard you giving Ezra a hard time lately? You’re on kitchen duty through this mission. Be kinder.”

Zeb grumbled but got up, and Ezra crossed his arms smugly. It served Zeb right, after all. As he passed him on his way to Sabine’s, he said, “Shall I get you an apron? And remember not to overhydrate the food like you usually do.”

Zeb growled, and Ezra continued on his way. Sabine answered the door at his knock.

“Hera wants us in the common room,” he explained. “Lunch and an update.”

“Who’s cooking?” she asked.

“Zeb.”

“Shavit.”

“I know. It’s his punishment for being insulting.”

“Sure Hera isn’t punishing _us_?”

They returned to the common room, and Hera laid out her updates. Again, Ezra found it a little difficult to focus with Sabine so close by, her presence humming away beside him. And again, Sabine didn’t look like she was even affected, doing a much better job than him at masking things.

“We’ll be there tomorrow morning ship’s time,” Hera said as they finished up their lunch. “Everyone relax a bit while you can, but be ready to get back into fighting form when you wake up tomorrow.”

The crew dispersed throughout the ship, and Ezra thought that now was as good a time as any to practice his saber exercises.


	7. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Night on the _Ghost_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand, we’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading this, and especially for the kudos and all the nice comments. I’m working on some other stuff with this storyline and hope to post soonish. Big thanks to Resuviol for encouraging me to do some more with this, because I’ve really enjoyed writing it! The next piece will be short, just a few chapters of the story from Sabine’s POV. Hope you like it!

As night came to the _Ghost_ and the crew began drifting off to their cabins (and even Chopper had plugged himself into a port to recharge and powered down), Ezra found that he still wasn’t very tired. Part of him was still really keyed up, not willing to go to sleep and wake in the morning to missions and more fighting. The last twenty-four hours had just been so…

Peaceful.

And he didn’t want them to end.

Plus, his mind didn’t seem to be able to turn off.

As he lay in his bunk, eyes on the ceiling once more, he replayed the night before over and over. Their kiss in the forest, Sabine inviting him back to her room, the feel of her skin, things going that direction… He’d worried, more than a little, that she was going to back out, say this had all been a _huge_ mistake, but at no point had she given him that indication, through words, actions, or even the Force. She meant it. Every part of it.

It was real.

All those times he’d thought about this with her, longed to touch her, and it was _real_. He felt so much more distractible now, hardly able to focus with memories constantly flooding him, sense memories now, not just feelings he’d conjured up in his mind from idle fantasies.

Ezra sighed and hopped down from the bed. Zeb let out a particularly loud snore, and Ezra shook his head. He left the room and went to the galley to find something to eat. They mostly had ration bars on the ship, but occasionally they had something good. He poked around until he found enough to make himself a small, rather pathetic sandwich, and poured a glass of water.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Startled, he whirled around. Sabine stood behind him in her night clothes, arms crossed, a slight smirk on her face. Her hair was disheveled and she looked as beautiful as ever. How could she have actually _startled_ him?

“Yeah,” he said, reaching up to rub his eye with the heel of his palm. Then, stifling a yawn, he pulled out the folding table set into the ship’s wall, along with the two benches. “You?”

“I was, but…you woke me up.”

“Was I that loud? I didn’t think I made any noise – ”

“No, it was…”

He got her meaning. “Through the Force?”

Sabine nodded, and instead of looking annoyed by it, she smiled a little. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I’m sorry.” Ezra put his food and drink on the table and pushed them to her as she joined him.

“It’s okay,” she said, breaking the sandwich in two and setting one half on the plate. “What’s bothering you?”

“I don’t want to go back to fighting. Not right now. So soon.”

“Our schedule has always been like this.”

“I know. But I just want…” He scrubbed his hands over his face, feeling stupid for wanting such a thing. “I just want a little more time with you.”

Under the table, her bare foot found his and slid along it. “We’ll get time. Here and there. And remember…this won’t be forever.” She shrugged and looked down at the plate. “Afterward, we can do what we want.”

 _Afterward?_ Was she really thinking that far ahead, into the future? Did she really _want_ a future with him?

Thing was, deep down, he had a gut feeling about the future, one that included a separation from her. Eventually, he knew, they would find their way back to each other, but it might take a while. And that made his heart hurt in so many ways, made him physically ill and hate, just for a moment, that his life was like this, made him resent it in so many ways. Why couldn’t they just have normal lives, live in a house with a pet or two and have a family and work boring jobs and –

“Hey,” Sabine cut into his thoughts, laying her hand on his arm. Ezra clenched his jaw, staring resolutely at the tabletop. “You went someplace.”

They’d started to read each other better over the last handful of months, and now with their new connection, she could sense more of his moods, too. He would never be able to hide anything from her. It was both exhilarating – thrilling – and terrifying.

“I just want so much for us,” he said quietly. “For everyone.”

“I know.”

He leaned into her, and she gathered him into her arms. It was odd, he thought distantly, that she had this side to her, that could be so soft with him, when he was so used to how rough and hard she could usually be.

“Come on,” Sabine said. “We have a few minutes while everyone’s asleep.”

They left the galley and settled on a couch in the common room, Ezra on his back, head propped on the arm, and Sabine lying comfortably on his chest with a blanket over them to ward off the chill of the ship. They didn’t speak. Sabine toyed with an unraveling string on his shirt and he twined his finger into a lock of her hair. His arm held her, hand cupping her shoulder, and they breathed in tandem. With his other hand, he mindlessly levitated and fidgeted with miscellaneous things lying nearby: a stylus, a note with coordinates scribbled on it, a puzzle cube, a blaster pack. Kanan would never approve, but sometimes, it helped him think.

Sabine shook with silent laughter, and Ezra realized she was watching him.

“Is this what you do when you’re alone?” she asked. “Mess around with the Force?”

Concentration broken, the items dropped to the deck with a clatter. “It helps me think.”

Sabine lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him, eyes open. “And what are you thinking about?”

Ezra wrapped his other arm around her. “I’m thinking that I love you, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way.”

She turned her head away. “I’m afraid to.”

“To love me back? Why?”

“Love makes you weaker. More vulnerable. Easier to twist.”

Ezra frowned. “You think I’m weak for loving you?”

Her hand moved up his side, sensitive with only a thin sleep shirt between them. “No.”

He knew better than to push it. At any rate, he thought he understood what she was saying. She didn’t need to put it into words, especially given how difficult they were. Her Force presence pulsed with discomfort, unease. But underneath that…

A deep, fathomless, warm fondness for him, that, as far as he was concerned, was the closest thing he’d come to feeling love back besides Hera and Kanan, and what he remembered from his parents.

Sabine settled down again, and Ezra closed his eyes as he rested his chin on her head.

\---

“Ezra.”

His eyes popped open, immediately going wide.

_Hera._

There was no getting out of this. They’d fallen asleep with Sabine still half on his chest, half lying next to him on the couch, one of his arms wrapped around her cradling her close. His other hand dragged on the floor.

Crouched down next to him, her hand on his shoulder, Hera smiled when she saw the look on his face. “It’s okay. Can I talk to you?”

Wordless, Ezra gently extricated himself from Sabine, repositioned her on the couch, and fixed the blanket to cover her. Then he followed Hera back to the cockpit. The chrono said it was a good hour before everyone had to start waking up. Ezra hadn’t realized he and Sabine had fallen asleep for so long. Outside the windows, blue and white hyperspace streaked by.

Hera took a seat in her chair while Ezra stayed by the door. She didn’t _look_ angry, but…he was still wary. Briefly, he touched her with a tendril of the Force and found…bemusement?

“I can explain,” he said quickly, but Hera held up a hand to forestall him, a hint of a smile on her face.

“You don’t have to,” she said. “It’s okay.”

Ezra nodded, eyes not leaving hers.

“So this is why you’ve been acting odd.”

Ezra looked down, embarrassed that he’d been so easy to see through. He couldn’t think of anything to say. On one hand, he was relieved they wouldn’t have to sneak around anymore. It hadn’t even been a day and a half and already it was too stressful to do that.

“There’s nothing wrong with being in love,” Hera said. “It makes things even more worth fighting for.”

“Sabine’s afraid of it.”

“Give her time.”

Ezra nodded again and sensed the conversation was over. He turned to go.

“By the way,” Hera said from behind him. “I’ll keep your secret safe from Zeb as long as I can.”

Ezra smiled. “Thanks, Hera.”

He opened the door and passed through, and he went back to Sabine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and commenting!! This has a companion piece from Sabine's POV, [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18399401/chapters/43574366). It has extra scenes!


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days later, as Sabine and Ezra start to settle into their early relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. This wound up getting a fluffy and mildly sexy (flexy?) epilogue when I tried to write a sequel that didn't pan out. Oh well, I guess! Hope you enjoy. :)

Sabine marched into the room, barefoot, dressed for bed, hair still wet from her shower. Ezra swallowed, forcing his eyes to stay on her face. He didn’t know if it was better or worse now that he knew what was under those clothes, rather than just imagining it.

“Zeb,” she said tersely, her hands on her hips. “Did you swipe two of my thermal detonators?”

The Lasat had been dozing upright on the couch, hands behind his head, ankle tapping where it crossed his knee. The entire crew was getting ready to turn in for the night. “I did,” Zeb said.

“Did I _say_ you could?”

“Not explicitly, no.”

“So why did you do it?”

Zeb shrugged. “Needed ’em.”

 _“Ask first,”_ Sabine retorted. “Or I will tell you just where you can put one.” She turned on her heel and stalked off to her cabin. Hera bid everyone goodnight and motioned to Chopper to follow her to a charging station, and Kanan followed them down the access hallway. Zeb returned to dozing, apparently not in a mood to leave the couch just yet.

Sabine’s door was opened a crack when Ezra approached. She must have expected him.

“Twenty-three-thirty,” she said in an undertone. “Everyone should be asleep by then.”

“Okay,” he replied quietly. “Goodnight.” He put his hand into the crack between the door halves, and Sabine clenched her fingers around his briefly. For a moment his eyes flickered shut, relishing the sensation, and then it was gone. He headed back to his room to change into his own night clothes and then wash up.

When he returned to his room afterward, Zeb had appeared in it. “You did good today, kid,” he said as Ezra started climbing the ladder to the top bunk. “I’m getting old. Tired.”

“Thanks, Zeb. Try to keep up next time.”

“Try not to bring every garrison down on your neck.”

“You _say_ that like you don’t enjoy shooting stormtroopers.”

Zeb chuckled. “I do, I really do.” One of his all-encompassing, room-shaking yawns emerged from his mouth. “ ’Night, kid. Don’t let the fleas bite.”

“I don’t get fleas.”

Zeb sighed, drifting away. “But you could.”

Ezra frowned. “Do Lasat fleas bite humans?”

“Dunno. Be the first thing I look up on the Holonet in the morning.”

For a moment it was quiet, Zeb’s rhythmic breathing the only sound.

“Kid.”

Not that Ezra could sleep anyway, with his meeting with Sabine so tantalizingly close. “What?”

“You need a bath.”

Again, Ezra frowned. “You need your nose checked. I took one.”

“I smell stormtrooper armor.”

“You’re having a bad dream. ’Night, Zeb.”

But the Lasat had finally dropped off, leaving Ezra alone with his thoughts, counting down the minutes until 2330. It wasn’t even 2245, and waiting felt like agony. He closed his eyes and ran through a couple Jedi exercises, but the anticipation of seeing Sabine again, _alone_ , in her _room_ , was too much.

Finally the time approached, and he silently left his cabin and walked down the hall to Sabine’s. The door was still cracked, and he keyed it to open all the way, then shut it again. Only a dim glowtorch was lit as Sabine lay reading in her bunk. She looked up with a smile and shut her datapad down.

“Hey,” she said, getting out and coming up to him. He found, then, that he was frozen in place. They hadn’t been alone in a room together since _that night_ , only a few days ago, but just having this much space alone with her, this much privacy, made his blood pressure spike.

“Hi,” Ezra said, taking her hands as she came up to him. “How are you?”

“Good. Always good when I get to blow something up and shoot stormtroopers.”

Ezra smiled at her response. It was such a Sabine thing to say.

“So how many did you get?” he asked.

“At least six.”

“Shame. I got seven.”

“You did not.”

“I know, it was only five.”

“You’re losing your touch, Jedi.”

“I was distracted.”

“Were you?” She came a little closer, her presence warm and electric. “If you keep getting _distracted_ they’re going to get me a new partner.”

“Mm, doubtful,” Ezra replied. “I’m the best there is.”

She pulled away and punched him straight in the shoulder.

“Ah, and there’s my punch,” he said. “You’ve been behind on your quota.” Just for that, apparently, she punched him again, but not as hard this time. And she tried not to smile when she did it. He chuckled and leaned his forehead to hers, hands on her shoulders and fingers stroking up her bare neck. Her own hands twisted in his shirtsleeves, pulling at the fabric. “Eager to get me out of my clothes again?”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“That wasn’t a no.”

“Do you have any idea what Hera would do if she caught us?”

Ezra bent his head down and slowly kissed her neck. “Caught us doing what?”

“Stop it.” But Sabine didn’t pull away, instead tightening her grip on him. “Hera would _murder_ us.”

“We could be quiet.”

“She would literally eject us both into space.”

“I can think of worse deaths for worse things. I think space death is supposed to be fast.”

Sabine sighed, but he caught a ripple of bemusement in her Force presence. “I’m going to go to sleep. You may stay, provided you keep your thoughts to yourself, or you may go, and spend the night with Zeb.”

“I’ll stay and behave, thanks,” Ezra replied.

They got into the bunk, which was roomier than the one they’d shared on Yavin 4, with Ezra toward the wall and Sabine’s back pressed up against his chest. He curled his arm around her waist, and she interlaced their fingers. It was dangerous, he knew, doing this, but he just _had_ to…they _both_ had to…

_Be together._

He still didn’t know how much he was allowed to touch her, or when, or how (or if he even knew how). But after so many days maintaining his distance, he _wanted_ to, and in the worst way. She slept in a loose top, colorful, of course, and it gaped at the bottom of her neck. Beckoning to him.

Sabine let a breath out, sinking deeper into the comfort of rest, like sharing a bed with him again had absolutely no effect on her. But Ezra was wholly affected – he’d always been affected by her – and he wanted, one day, to kiss every bit of her, tell her every part of her was beautiful and he loved all of it.

She wanted to go to sleep. He should let her. Gritting his teeth, he turned away from her to face the metal wall.

“G’night,” she said.

“’Night,” he replied all too quickly.

His body wouldn’t cool down. His mind wouldn’t stop racing. His heart wouldn't stop pounding in his ears. In minutes he turned back over again toward her, reached for her and pulled her close again.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” But he pressed his lips just above the collar of her shirt between her shoulder blades, and he was rewarded with a shiver racing over her.

“Ezra,” she said. “Go to sleep.”

Except the hand next to his on her stomach had curled into a fist, and not one of anger. He sensed her distraction, her fight for focus. With his fingers he combed her hair back behind her ear, which he kissed.

“If someone hears…” Sabine warned.

“Hey, you invited me.”

She didn’t reply; he was right. But he took a breath and forced calm into his body, then nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

“Sorry,” he said. “This is just a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“Yeah,” Sabine said. “I know.”

They had another mission on another planet in the morning. He should get some sleep. They both should. Sleeping next to her was good enough. The day had been tiring, at any rate. Once they stopped talking, his eyes felt heavy, and soon, he dropped off.

* * *

_Pale mountains…tall grasses…clear air…sunshine..._

_A home…small…warm…inviting…_

_Peace…loth-cats…Sabine…a baby…_

Ezra bolted up with a gasp. “Sabine!”

“What, what?!” she exclaimed in a hushed tone, immediately wide awake, her hand on his arm. “What is it?”

Once he got his senses about him again, Ezra almost laughed at the way his heart thundered, as if he’d just had some horrible, adrenaline-fueled vision. Instead, he felt peace, calm, bliss, excitement. When he looked down at Sabine, he couldn’t help the smile on his face.

“I just saw our future.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://loth-cat-loth-cat.tumblr.com)!


End file.
